Topps is the Shia LaBeouf of baseball cards

Or Carlos Mencia, if you like.  Basically, they suck at what they do unless what they're doing is ripping off others and disappointing their customers.

What made me jump to that conclusion this time?  Just another box break of 2014 Topps on Blowout.  A guy managed to pull this boring-ass Puig relic from a blaster,

(SO exciting, I know) and I guess I can't blame him for being a little amped since at least it wasn't one of the 50 new parallels that exist this year.  All I had to do was eyeball this hit for two seconds before I immediately thought of

2001 Pacific Private Stock's Game Gear relics.  Those of you who are younger or weren't collecting that year might not remember it, but this was one of the earlier one-relic-per-pack products back when that was something almost unheard of.  Maybe Topps is counting on people to have forgotten these.  Congratulations to them for picking one of the older designs that hasn't aged very well while honoring the legacy of the boring-ass swatch.

That crap just adds to the clown show that is 2014 Topps, which includes the aforementioned parallelarrhea, and this ridiculousness:

(Taken from this eBay auction)

Wait--did you--did you just...I mean, hang on........did you SERIOUSLY reprint a rookie card from TWO YEARS AGO?!