Topps is the Shia LaBeouf of baseball cards

Or Carlos Mencia, if you like.  Basically, they suck at what they do unless what they're doing is ripping off others and disappointing their customers.

What made me jump to that conclusion this time?  Just another box break of 2014 Topps on Blowout.  A guy managed to pull this boring-ass Puig relic from a blaster,

(SO exciting, I know) and I guess I can't blame him for being a little amped since at least it wasn't one of the 50 new parallels that exist this year.  All I had to do was eyeball this hit for two seconds before I immediately thought of

2001 Pacific Private Stock's Game Gear relics.  Those of you who are younger or weren't collecting that year might not remember it, but this was one of the earlier one-relic-per-pack products back when that was something almost unheard of.  Maybe Topps is counting on people to have forgotten these.  Congratulations to them for picking one of the older designs that hasn't aged very well while honoring the legacy of the boring-ass swatch.

That crap just adds to the clown show that is 2014 Topps, which includes the aforementioned parallelarrhea, and this ridiculousness:

(Taken from this eBay auction)

Wait--did you--did you just...I mean, hang on........did you SERIOUSLY reprint a rookie card from TWO YEARS AGO?!

Complete sets: 2001 Donruss: the Rookies

No false advertising here!

I used to be a big fan of rookie-themed sets, so I really enjoyed the 2001 Donruss:  the Rookies boxed set when it first came out.  The set came in unopened box form and was only available to collectors who pulled redemptions from the 2001 Donruss product.  I don't think they were too difficult to pull because I bought two 2001 Donruss hobby boxes and each included a Rookies set redemption.  By the way, 2001 Donruss was one of my favorite box busts ever, but that's a topic for another day.

Ah yes, 2001 star rookie...Alex Rodriguez?

Anyway, the 2001 version included 105 cards, plus a bonus rookie Diamond King.  Years ago, when Pujols/Ichiro-mania first started, I sold one of my sets at a card show for a decent price, and I believe I also sold or traded both Diamond Kings from the sets, one of which I know was an Ichiro; the other MIGHT have been a Pujols, but that's been lost to history.  But all I really care about is the rookie set anyway, and as you can see by the checklist, it actually includes a pretty nice group of cards, especially given the usually high miss rate of prospects:

A checklist...ON the box?  WHAT SORCERY IS THIS?!

You can see some pretty good names there, including Adam Dunn, Roy Oswalt, Travis Hafner, Jimmy Rollins, Brian Roberts, Mark Teixeira, Josh Beckett, C.C. Sabathia, Alfonso Soriano and Ben Sheets.  Oh yeah, and the last ten cards in the set include a pair of guys that won Rookie of the Year that season.  Also, I'm not pulling any punches--the idea of making Tsuyoshi Shinjo a Rookie Diamond King was as laughable then as it is now, period.

So here's a fond look at the 105 cards from one of Donruss's (licensed!  Remember when they could do that?) rookie offerings, 2001 Donruss:  the Rookies: